Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Post 41


what is happy???where do the happy i have in the past gone????i have very long never enter to ktv and sing until i song....many things cannot say in word cos is hard to describe ,life is unpredictable and time flies very fast and i still the same old me,looking after my two children and worry and stress is still surrounded me,i hate this feeling but not me to chose also...Even i hate i still have to live on.what had i done wrong,to makes my life like this..i have alot of things what i have done i am regret but time will not go back what can i do...How i wish i can say a sorry and the time will go back????But i know it won't..i do have some happy days but the time i have is very short there is always some spoiler who spoil my day...Actually i can count myself lucky maybe in this world there is some people who never even have enjoy a single happy day and sleep on the coffin...how cum today so moodless i also dun know why but whenever i saw sarah and mikkiel was smiling and laugh it will make my day with a smile cos their happy will not be faked and they are so naive and innocent, when i saw them happy i really feel happy i think every mother will feel the same as me but when i saw someone who always wanted to harm and hurt people and covered people when not necessary i feel this world why have this type of people...Do u believe from i was born until 24 years old i never met those people who now i am met do u know how i feel...i really feel very sad and always think why there is this type of people on this world...i alway tell myself got is giving me a test see whether can i pass anot but i am very tired of this type of people,i cannot treat them like what they treat me cos if i do i am no different from them..BUT what can i really do....i am scared sometime i dun know how those people think and will do next..They do thing unpredictable and really very scary...i know some people will know how i feel life is not easy but i have to go on maybe is tough but i hope i can be the super mario and step the monster and award with alot point and money....haahaahaa

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Post 40



my daughter sherwin...heeheee (cute rite)






we are seeing each other...funny rite :)

i purposely ask them to lie on the mattress like this...

my baobei & me( pls ignored my face)








monday again,to me everyday is the same.sometime i even forget the date cos at home with the children i only know the month of 16th and 24th cos sarah and mikkiel monthsary but will be count until they 2 years old i will stop counting....Sarah has alot of appointment this week,last friday went to my hubby's mum house to stay and come back on sunday...but today afternoon she went to my parent place will be staying 1 week or futhermore...so maybe this week dun have any photo of her...Btw she nowaday dun like to take photo but she like to use my hp to take picture...Sarah become vain areadi alway went to my mirror and see herself and use my comb to comb her hair lol...Mikkel nowaday also very cranky keep crying non stop when he cannot see me and at night he will make noise a few times when his pacifier drop..i have to wake up and find the pacifier and put in his mouth...last weekend what i have done:

Saturday

i wake up around 7 plus,cos marry come my house and she bring macdonald up but i never eat ask her help me to buy big breakfast for hubby,chit chat and looking after mikkiel..marry wanted to learn something and how to look after baby...was very tired but marry look more tired cos she sleep for 2 hours and we keep chit chat and 5 plus her husband come fetch her and she went home,hubby was back from work planning to go boon lay shopping centre to buy grocery BUT hubby is asleep from 7 plus until 9 plus tell him i am hungry but he still sleeping so i go cook instant noodles than he wake up...anyway i eat instant noodles he order KFC and ate one chicken tight and one winglet and i full...played computer until 1 plus and go my room to pack my things throw alot of things(one big bag)...another day gone

Sunday

wake up 9 plus cos mikkiel wake up so make milk for him and finish he play himself and i do my housechores...(everyday have to do housechores until i very xian)...mikkiel keep crying and dun know why and husband put him in the walker he cry more loudly carry him up and he stop crying but put him in the mattress he start crying again and than put the teething gel and he stop crying and sleep...In the evening,went to boon lay shopping centre but we went to eat our lunch and dinner beside the shopping centre,while eating,hubby's mum brought sarah and give it to us but after she go she cry like we are not her parent like that husband bring her go walk walk,eventually i feel very sad to see her like that,but no choice i have to determined in my role i will not give up easily cos if i dun discpline when she grow up i dun think she can be handle....i had find some research and will educate and discpline in another way see it work if work i will share out...didn;t see sarah for 12 hours she went to my parent place..will missed her very much i think mikkiel too...

Mikkiel is crying will go entertained him...................hope this fews day can bring mikkiel go gaigai......he loves to go out and see the nice scenary but hope sarah is here so we can go together but will bring her out more often if she behave well,hope she can enjoy @ my parent house :)







Thursday, June 25, 2009

Post 39






Happy 6 month to my precision, mikkiel


the latest me (taken today)

Today wake up around 10 plus and luckily sarah and mikkiel were sleeping,getting ready the ingredient and put the loin meat and uncooked rice and put into the slow cooker...11am both children wake up and as usually made milk for them...bath and play with them...
In the afternoon feed sarah while mikkiel is sleeping luckily after feedin sarah mikkiel wake up so i feed him the first porridege unfortunately he dun like it and made milk and cereal for him cos he is too hungry and heep crying in the walker,drink and make noise again..Called up my mum and she say wait for a few days than let him try again but i just dun wanna to give up easily so in the evening i try to give him again but i put more water and make the porridge watery and let the slow cooker to cook in the afternoon..but this time he eat and he want more but i tell him no u can't eat to much or else u will not digest and he listen and stop making noise...finally my worries is over...Intend to bring him to jp but raining so maybe tomorrow if the weather is good will bring him out..I can see sarah and mikkiel love to go out la so i hope i can bring them out more often...

Just now watch the 11pm show the name is 活下去...i really impress chen hanwei acting lol......But i dun know why his wife suddenly together with zhen pinghui but today i watch they areadi marry and live together...But i was really feel sad when i saw chen han wei become like this in this show...I know is a repeat drama but just wanna where i am when this drama was showing on channel 8 the title is meaningful also....sometime while i watch this type of drama i really feel very sour and feel sad too..sometime must tell myself i must know to statisfied but human is like this alway say say only...sometime say is easy do very diffcult...

This fews day was chatting with some friend and they say they saluate me can look after 2 children and stay at home...if i can ease my worry and find a trust nanny i also wanted to go out and work but i am very contradicting come to put my children to who to look after...i dun want to anyhow put my children to a anyhow people and just go out and work..i think i not the only mummy feel this way...every mummy feel the same..Look after ababy is rather tiring but no choice if i want to give birth and let them come to this world i must have the responsible to look after them until i step in to the coffin...my friend say u still have the time to chat and surf the net...i must organise my time well lo but i must do finish my housechores and sometime they will sleeping or playing together i can surf net awhile and chatting with friend is the most enjoyable thing but my friend have to endure me cos sometime i will be away for a few minutes and need them to wait for me,in anyway i can use the hp but unless i cooking...sometime i can be very free but sometime i can be very busy....Recently i only can bath when my hubby is back cos sarah keep disturbing mikkiel or sometime mikkiel keep rolling from the mattress to the floor i scared he will knock to something so is very hard to bath cos i need 20 to 30 mins to be done so careful better than sorry lol...I alway invited my friend to come my house although my house is not big and abit untidy cos got children dun think ur house will be tidy unless u got a playroom for them..Cos toy here and there and sarah can take things from there to here mostly is children things la..But at night i will keep everything in the orginal place lol...who wanna to live in a untidy house i think noone like it..I have to stop here is getting late tomorrow have to wake up to prepare mikkiel and sarah meals...nite to everybody.....)hope tml can bring the children to JP for a walk pray the weather is good...:)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Just wanna to share to all ladies...(man also can encourage ur gf or wife to do this test if u really treasure them)

After putting implagnon my mense is coming and seem like she not going back i lose my count i dun know when she come and when she go i hope she can go and come back again cos i think i lose alot of blood and cause of my dizzy and headache............

why i am encourage woman to do this pap smear is because its better to prevent than is too late...

Just to inform those woman who reads my blog, was advised to go do a pap smear cos the cervical cancer in singapore is increasing and

Cervical cancer is cancer of the neck of the womb which is called cervix and is one of the most common cancers that affect a woman’s reproductive organs.

Cervical cancer is the 6th most common cancer among women in Singapore.

The incidence of cervical cancer has reduced considerably in the last few years due to screening with PAP smears.


Types of cervical cancer

  • Squamous cell carcinomas begin in the thin flat cells at the lower part of the cervix.
  • Adenocarcinomas occur in the glandular cells that line the upper portion of the cervix.
  • Adenosqumous carcinomas are cancers in which both types of cells are involved in cervical cancer.

Causes

It is not clear what causes the squamous cells or glandular cells of the cervix to become abnormal and develop into cancer.

The human papilloma virus (HPV) has been implicated in causing cervical cancer. However, most women with HPV do not develop cervical cancer.

Risk factors

Factors which may increase the risk of cervical cancer include:

  • Multiple sexual partners will increase the chance of acquiring HPV infection.
  • Early sexual activity
  • Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis or HIV/AIDS.
  • Weak immune system due HIV/AIDS or the use of immunosuppressive drugs such as steroids as in organ transplant patients.
  • Cigarette smoking

Symptoms

In the early stages, women with cervical cancer may not have any symptoms.

As the cancer progresses, these symptoms and signs include:

  • Vaginal bleeding following intercourse, or in between periods or after menopause
  • Watery, bloody vaginal discharge that may be heavy and have a foul smell
  • Lower abdominal pain or pain during intercourse

Screening

Screening may include:

  • Pap smear test

    • During a Pap test the doctor brushes cells from the narrow neck of the uterus (cervix) and sends the sample to be examined for abnormalities.
    • A Pap test can detect the precancerous stage when the abnormal cells (dysplasia) are in the outer layer of the cervix and have not invaded deeper tissues.
  • HPV DNA test

    • The HPV DNA test is used to determine whether a person is infected with any of the 13 types of HPV that are most likely to lead to cervical cancer.

Diagnosis

To confirm the diagnosis, the specialist may perform the following tests:

  • Colposcopy involves examining the cervix using an instrument called colposcope and taking samples of cells for analysis (biopsy).
  • Punch Biopsy involves taking a small sample of cervical cells and examining the tissue under microscope.
  • Cone biopsy involves removing a cone-shaped area of cervical cells using a scalpel or laser.

Treatment

Early stage cancer

Treatments of early stage cancer include:

  • Cone biopsy (conization).
  • Laser surgery.
  • Loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP).
  • Cryosurgery.
  • Hysterectomy.

Invasive cancers

Cervical cancer that invades deeper into the cervix is referred to as invasive cancer and requires more extensive treatment.

Treatment options may include:

  • Surgery

    A radical hysterectomy.

  • Radiotherapy

    Radiation therapy uses high-powered energy to kill cancer cells and can be given externally using external beam radiation or internally by placing devices filled with radioactive material near the cervix.

  • Chemotherapy

    Chemotherapy uses strong anti-cancer chemicals to kill cancer cells.

Prevention

The risk of cervical cancer can be reduced by taking measures to prevent HPV infection. HPV spreads through skin-to-skin contact with any infected part of the body not just through intercourse. These include:

  • Using condoms during sex reduces the risk of contracting HPV.
  • Delaying first intercourse, having fewer sexual partners and avoiding smoking.
  • Getting vaccinated with the HPV vaccine. The vaccine is most effective if given to girls before they become sexually active.
  • Having regular Pap smears which are the most effective way to detect cervical cancer.

Pap Smear Procedure

What is a Pap smear?
A Pap smear is a screening test to check for changes in the cells of your cervix which may develop into cancer later. It is a simple procedure where cells are collected from your cervix and sent to a laboratory where the cells are examined under a microscope. It takes only a few minutes and can be done by a nurse or a doctor.

Pap smear
Acknowledgement: Diagram taken from
American Academy of Family Physicians

Normal cervical

Normal cervical cells under the microscope


Abnormal cervical cells
Abnormal cervical cells

Abnormal cervical cells under the microscope

Acknowledgement: Pictures taken from the American Society of Pathology.

How often should you go for a Pap smear?
All woman aged between 25 and 69 who ever had sex are advised to have a Pap smear done once every 3 years.

Where can I have a Pap smear done?
The Pap smear is available at general practitioner clinics and all polyclinics.

How do I prepare myself for the Pap smear test?

  • Schedule your appointment 2 weeks after the start of your menstrual period.
  • Avoid sexual intercourse 48 hours before the test
  • Do not use spermicides, vaginal creams, lubricant jellies, vaginal medications or tampons two days before the test.
  • Wear a two piece outfit as you will need to undress from the waist down.

What happens at a screening appointment?
The diagram shows what typically happens when a woman attends for Pap smear screening at the polyclinics.

Flowchart

*About 1 in 10 Pap smear results are abnormal. However they are rarely cancer. Women who have abnormal results are strongly encouraged to go for further tests as advised by the doctor.

How is Pap smear done?
The Pap smear is a quick and simple test. First, you will be asked to lie down. A small instrument called a speculum will be inserted into your vagina to get a clear view of your cervix (neck of the womb). The nurse or doctor will then use a small brush to collect some cells from your cervix and smear them onto a glass slide. The cell sample will be sent to the laboratory for tests.

Will the procedure be painful?
You may experience some discomfort during the procedure. To help you relax, take slow deep breaths as the speculum is inserted. If you feel pain, inform the doctor or nurse immediately.

Can cervical cancer be treated?
Yes, cervical cancer can be treated. It is important that you have a Pap smear once every 3 years so that the cancer can be detected early, when treatment is most effective.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Post 38


Early in the morning yesterday 7 plus,i was wake up cos my hp is ringing is a sms i forgotten to switch my hp to silent and is one of my friend asking me free coll her...Yup just like this i was very angry myself why i never switch my hp to silent lol anyway is over cos is another day...My friend is pregnant and sharing with me...i was happy for her but abit worry too cos she has depression since i start to know her,i dun know whether she can cope herself anot...Sometime i also wonder what she is thinking but what i advice her she seem to listen in the past but i do hope she can stable down herself and waiting for the baby to arrive..I know her from a very heavenly place although we live very near to each other,never ever expect we will know each other at that place....I can understand how she feel when she tell me what make her to become like this but what i can do is just be a listening ear cos i dare not tell anything anymore cos she might accidentally convert what i say to another meaning and luckily my godsis call me and tell me orelse i might lose this friendship because of misunderstanding..This is not the first time areadi but is fate to be her friend than i have no choice cos i can't letting her alone i dun knw how many friend she have but if she have friend i dun think she will bother to sms and coll me...we been quite a few month never contact.we used to msn online or sometime she will call when she would like to share something to me...

Today she coll me and she was in her husband house (near my house) she tell me she waited to go for a checkup so decided to help her check online give her some address and managed to find one convienient and she seem like dun know how to go cos she is not familiar to this area and i did tell my hubby about it than he say we bring her go lol was susprised my hubby will say this lei cos he doesn't really like my this friend but to me she will not in the wrong but what bygones is bygones and hubby said because of me he forgive her cos she is my best friend yup whatever i just dun like my hubby dun like my friend tat all..Cos i think my hubby also not that bad la...he even planned say bring her go another clinic cos that clinic i check in internet is not that gd but anyway my friend just want to check the growth of the baby so izzn't a matter and her hubby reach on time so there is somebody to accompained her cos the feeling of husband accompanied wife go the first check up and friend accompained is very different...The feeling is different..I hope she can take gd care of herself and the baby and the husband can be more understanding and show more care and concern about her cos Pregnant woman the mood changes very fast one and sensitive to word...i will pray for her hope she can have a smooth and happy pregnancy journey...

Went to have cool bath and come out is so refresh lol but i cutting down off bath 5 to 6 time to 3 to 3 time aday cos i scared wait old here pain there pain cos i feel the pain on and off that mean i getting old lol..Today is my last day staying so late at night cos tomorrow onward i am going to sleep before 12..i did mention in the previous post why just go and read urself if u are interested.Today mikkiel made me so funny and angry he was suckinh his finger happily and i purposely go there and fold my arm and pretend to scold him..Do u know what he do he use the nappy cloth and cover his face and the pattern so cute...He is only 5month lol and hubby also laugh..now think areadi still laughing cos the image is still in my mind...As usual he roll like a ball and walk like a crab...sometime he and sarah expression will make me laugh...Today i teach sarah again when u shit u must say poopoo(in chinese)i say poopoo she say papa very funny sometime i am acting strict and tell her must say poopoo not papa but i will turn my head back and laugh this gal sometime very funny sometime will make me and hubby headache,cos she dun wanna to talk what she want she only use cry and action tell us what she wants but i am slowly teaching her,this gal got room got aircom she dun wanna to sleep she rather come out with me and sleep on the mattress and with the fan,The weather is so hot lo she just wan to follow where i go but only 3 of us at home la when daddy back she will follow him but when daddy scold her she will come to me..I hate her being like this and i scold her a lot of time dun know where she learn about this but i am going to correct her no matter what..Young dun teach when grow older she will become worse...ok i will stop here pls kindly see the next post if u are woman aged above 25 years old..........

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Post 37




Finally can sit down and have some updated...the weather is so hot when i was doing housechores and i was sweating all the way,mop the floor cos is quite late never vacumm the floor...Today afternoon,my mama,godmama and godsister,sharon come over to my house ..They reached about 1 plus and we chit chat and play with sarah and mikkiel three of them keep asking me to go bath than can go jurong point...2 o'clock say until 4 plus than we managed to go out of my house,when they start over a conversation i sit and chit chat with sharon than here talk there talk abit than go in take my towel and than they are talking another topics so i sit down and join the chat and 3.35 o'clock i go and bath and come out around 4pm...we reached juron point i think is about 5 plus ma...Godma treat us eat kfc eventually planning to treat down cos my mama come down from amk and my godmama and godsister come down from lorong ah soo.but godmama ask me to keep the money lol..i know they scared i dun have money...After that we went to window shopping around 7 plus my godmama leg is aching so they wanna go back so they follow us go taxi stand and off they go and sarah began to cry again...But sarah and mikkiel enjoy the day cos during the whole journey mikkiel is inside the pram sucking his finger without i knowing and sarah is happy to see so many things see how they dun feel happy...

recently i been sleeping lately and wake up early one day i will sure look like old auntie areadi...from tuesday onward i have to sleep b4 12am cos i have to wake up to cook mikkiel porridge and sarah lunch and dinner...why have to wake up early cos mikkiel porridge have to use slow cooker to cook lo and must prepare the ingredient and all put inside to be cook slowly and have to cook sarah lunch and dinner sometime she can have porridge but not everyday cos everyday eat porridge also feel xian...must give her more variety food to eat so maybe next time she will not a fussy eater...i hope so*crossed finger* 2.19 am i am going to take a puff and go to my lala land areadi tomorrow going bugis so i hope i not tired...hope i will enjoy tomorrow :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Post 36

me playing with my hp camera
mikkiel is playing with his pacificer
sarah is playing with her finger and scolded by me
they are my everything....................

saw my ba zhen eye.......................
mikkiel and sarah (notice sarah has a new hairstyle)
seeing each other( like wanna to fight) haha

me and mikkiel ask sarah to join us but she dun want
sarah in her pink bicycle and can play music



mikkiel know how to play with camera nowadays


Her recent pose dun know what she is posing but as long as she happy i happy....

hope mikkiel hair will grow and wonder how he look when his hair start to grow.


Enjoy the photo.......................i must capture everything everyday so when they grow up they can have some memories with me...


mikkiel has recover from his diahorrea..Yesterday night he keep vomiting and keep crying...Poor boy and i was worried about him...Luckily i gave him some fruit juice and he sleep at 1 am and today he behave well and no diahorrea...My eye again have ba zhen maybe is to heaty ba my friend say i see too much guy liao...yup every day i will be seeing 5 guys in my house la (just kidding) is irritate me alot...Yesterday and today taken some mikkiel and sarah and mine photo..I just love taking their photo and cam whoring myself...Yesterday is not a gd day for me,sometime i feel very tired what i have done is not appreciate..i dun know why i will beocme like this but i do feel something wrong but i just feel like keeping quiet,keeping silent doesn;t meant anything...I do know friend is important if i met a friend that is not worth it for me i will not avoid this friend but just hi bye friend that all..i really dun want any lies from any people anymore...I simply HATE people to lie...even what i say is hurt if u can wake up and u want to hate me i dun mind...But i am not so noble to see u happy i happy this is wat u say to me and i can tell u i am not happy at all,dun see me alway talk to people like no problem i kept everything myself but what i get, hope sunday everything done things will be better..i dun feel like write ver clearly here but just vent abit of anger here tat it...

i think my body has changes i feel weak as before.sometime i feel dizzy at times i not enough blood and someone is alway make me angry and say i wanted to find things to quarrel..Push here and there is not a point...I everytime tell my friend dun regret when everything is gone...sometime what i done make me very regret but there is no u turn and life is long long way to go...Those who know me well i dun usually quarrel so this person who make me want to quarrel there must be have problem...Tolerance have alimit..if what i do wrong god will punish me...my friend say recently my life is very happening yup lo unpredictable thing is cooming and go who can accept it..dun feel like saying so much but my hair is still wet cos i have a nice bath and hope i can sleep well tonight...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Post 35

happy 22 month to my baobei ,sarah
she is posing i know is abot wired but she is trying to pose
putting her waterbottle in my bag


siting here and play with her milkbottle
cos there is a uncle playing with mikkiel so sarah come and protect her didi



Do he look like sick........

Happy 22mth to my baobei,sarah....In the evening brought them to boon lay shopping centre and brought her didi to see doctor luckily not much problem can let him drink the formula milk for this few days so buy friso soy milk for him...But he look active and he really active must give him more fiuld,The clinic give me the medicine was almost expire and the powder become starchy lol luckily didn't give mikkiel or else i think it will be worse....hope mikkiel can recover soon i see him like that my heart feel pain lol...I going to see the 11'oclock show (Live on) although repeat but i had never watch this show before i waiting for chen hanwei to wake up...Gtg hope everyday will be a happy day :)