Is the end

I had been sick for weeks
why
On 2 december my house door was splash by paint early in the morning...
I was so so so so so so SHOCKED
when the childrens' father
wake me up
telling me the door was splash by paint..
WHO DONE
of course the same people
who telling story..

The whole day i smell the thinner and paint and when i saw him
i (&*^&%^&^*(&()*) him and i ask him to go out of the house..
YES HE DID
AND SMS ME THAT HE DOESN"T WANT TO DRAG ME AND THE CHILDREN..
BULLSHIT
IF HE DOESN"T WANT TO DRAG US
WHY MUST HE LEAVE
FIND US A HOME AND LET 3 of us to stay
and
he can do whatever he wants..

His mother called me and called and ask me to give him a last chance
last chance
last chance
and
friends advice me think of the 2 children..
LET HIM IN TO THE HOUSE AGAIN

Last week I find out he go borrow private loaner
and than he told me he doesn't want to tell me
cos he doesn't want me to stress.
OF COS HE SAY LIKE THIS
cos he claimed he brought the money back for
children stuff
and i was suspecting when did he bought money back
and i was borrowing money from friends.
YESH HE DID BRING BACK
50 to 100 bucks only..
Keep telling me he brought the money back
AGAIN
HE IS LIE-ing
HE gamble and lose dun know how much
and
I had telling him and warn him not to gamble
..
HIS WONDERFUL LIES
and again plead for forgiveness

think i am brainless
i areadi suspect he is telling lies
all this while he is having debt for is gamble
and my debt from my friend is for family expenses
the problem is
HE CANNOT COMPROMISED
he lies is following one by one
end up
i really cannot stand it
I am sick cos i was actually sick
start on 2 december
got headache ,low pressure , vomit..
As a woman who can take it..
He never think of me
i actually used to it
but he never ever think of 2 precious at all
...

Chances by chances
for what..

Kids sick ask me to wait
I sick call my mum to bring me to see doctor when
he can tell my mum he has no money to bring him see doctor..
I admit i ask him to do so
But he knew my mum is going to have a operation
I ask him not to help his bro
not to gamble
but after all he did what he shouldn't did..

He can tell me he going to crazy cos he have to find money to clear his debt per week..
I admit hospital is was not the one who pay the bills..
I say i going crazy
he will say the say things as me..
So after all he is still the same a outsider
SELFISH...

I will never help him in his debt
NEVER
A CENT ALSO NO..

Chased him out today and i think this time round who ask me to ask him back i will never again..
He had been getting worse to worst..
Also love to compare with his friend
(sorry not the good ones
is the worst ones..)
I am still on the way of getting well
today christmas
staying at home
and cos of him we have to stay at home
we cannot go out..
COS HE SAY HE IS FINDING MONEY
SO I LET HIM GO FIND
FROM MONDAY TILL NOW
HE CANNOT NOT EVEN FIND TILL HOW MUCH..
Money not the problem
is his character
really sound scary

He even want me to sell the house
and telling me all sort of reason
when i ask him to transfer his shares of this house
to me ALL
So he went to HDB and than tell me
we can get a new house
so can change environment and than
HE CAN CLEAR HIS DEBT..
Luckily i have friends
i told them what he did and they say
DUN BE STUPID TO SELL THE HOUSE
WHERE U GOING TO STAY WITH UR KIDS..
Cos i have not so much free time like him
can dun need to work..
I sick i still drag myself to work
just for my 2 precious and me..


Gambler words cannot be believe..
I learn my lesson
this family is his hand who ruined
telling me
how noble he is
i feel like vomit luckily i never give him to much hopes
just that what he and his family did
really make me feel
very sick n tired

A family can be SO united in this way
i happy for them
just see when than their 2 precious will learn from mistake..
selfish
covering mistake
lies
gambler

Own self do
own self suffer
but than he
make the 3 of us suffer..

His precious sarah is having fever yesterday
he can sleep so well that when
sarah was saying she having stomachache
he still can sleep with snore...

Want to go crazy
go and be crazy
People do what u also want to do what
The very good things of his is
he can let people suffer what he does
and when he suffer he say he going crazy...

whatever doesn't want to curse him
dun worth me to had any memories good..

Nothing good to treasure this father of 2 precious
I really feel very sad of
doing this decision
cos i dun know how 2 precious will feel
went they saw people have a family of
father mother and children
and
they are different..

I dun need to think of my feeling
but
i have to think of my 2 preicous
feeling and thought.
Anyway i had tried my best
he dun give a damn of my 2 precious safety why should i care..
I have to force myself to recover as soon as possible
i dun think i want him to come home and help me with the children
if i cannot i rather put them by my sides
rather them always coming back
sick or wounds here and there..

Sick is very common
Wounds here and there never
ask never say
than end up sick
cos wound never clean properly..
I understand that is very common
but than have to be responsible to say
and do the necessary things will not go worst

Is always like this not family problem
than this type of money and gamble problem
if not is harming each other
and than let people suffer

i not going to bother their family anymore
not necessary anymore
I have more to bother
I have my future to plan
dun ever think of selling this house
I will never sell if
u can find me a new ones
and i will do the rest myself..