我真的累...........

When this period,2010 Chinese new year,my grandma had treat Sarah as me...How Best issn't it if the time will just stop there...


Ever since my 嬷嬷 had gone to the heaven....I had been changing myself ,my concept & my everything..
Due to those things i am very insisted ON i am also very anything..


But just because of one person doesn't know how to compromised or whatever in this marriage,everyone in the house is really really suffering..With this few month,how many things had happen,when my grandma not even passed for one month,things is still happening,When middle of the night,i drop my tear i need someone who be there GUESS WHO WILL IT BE..SARAH N MIKKIEL Even thought they are still toddlers at least they will not do anything bad very bad to me...Althought i scold ,beat them when they cannot be control they still love me,sarah will say good night to me and say mummy love u when she go to sleep,mikkiel he will nua on my body and find a nice position and sleep.He will sure sayang my nose before he sleep..The action let me know they love me just like i love them..

I had to admit i am not a good wife,but as what i understand is when HIM had any sort of trouble or stress i will be there and i look after him more than he protect me..What i ask for is very simple but until now The history is repeating he still saying the same sentence same pattern..I am very tired of this marriage really i had once lost my mind even lost my life..(Sorry not beacuse of him ) Imagine a woman had to look after a baby and had handle some much stuff and his family problem..His temper his selfishness and whatever make me once and another wanted to leave this marriage..I didn't say he had not done as a husband..Yes he bring all his salary back,he will never stop me buying anything for myself & even the kid...He respect my parent but only ONCE he is damn rude to my mother but after he had apologised..This is not what i want for this family ONLY

Yes I cannot expect too much on him but at least dun do decision that make 2 precious and me into all sort of trouble.We are innocent . I had been very tired of this marriage,i even explain to him why i want a divorce and i dun even had to heart to be with him anymore..Sunday we had a big big quarrel,called his brother ask him come bring him back to his parents' house since he is so noble to be a brother to help him no matter what..Had been torture him since he back from outside..Life will not be the same anymore,when i see him i will say him till he dun even worth a cent..I am not proud how he want this marriage or even to show off how bad i treat him..i knew in my heart what i had say to him sms him IS WRONG but If this marriage can be salvage only family is complete with a father a mother and my 2 precious i think it may take long time to heal this problem caused by his brother and him..I dun know whether this marriage will be the same as before..

But i assured i will be strong no matter what happen..I had to thank everyone who had accompany me,help me in anywhere from the start of knowing me till now..Friends accompany me from when i was a little rebellion teenager till i marry till now having 2 precious..I also own alot of favour from my parent n relative n friends..Dun have urs listening ear, the hand who help me up ,the hours of advice i will not be here to remember in my heart and I will never let go my life cos my 2 precious ...thank a millionaire

Different woman had different thinking ,different expect..

I dun think what i expect from him is very much = but what he gives me is damn too much

if how not good i treat him he can take revenge by treating me bad but not this way to let me think he had NO NO responsibility at all..


i alway strongly believed my grandma in the heaven will blessed me all the way when i meet her again in the heaven...