Post 70

The overdue pictures :we have been very long never take photo together AND THIS TIME ROUNDis my hubby who ask me to take photo with him :) at least he take the initiative :)


taken @ ah ma house on 27 september 2009



Nobody was here and only my family while waiting take a picture of myself

i love sarah wearing this powerpuff gal pyjamas she look sweet :)

sarah and mummy

daddy and sarah
mikkiel @ my ah ma house i love seeing him wearing jumper lol .....

Now is 4.00am why am i doing here cos i cannot get back to sleep after i making milk for mikkiel...everyone is sleeping and rain had just stopped but i just cannot go back to sleep of course something is bothering me but is not a very big matter of cos is still THAT JERK problem but by the way everything is still NOT settle but i just tell my husband just dun worry and go work and if anything happen we will just call the police and forget to mention my hubby find a new job and hope he can adapt the working environment tomorrow will be his first day of work and i was thinking will he used to it no matter what at least he make an effort to work 2 jobs and let us have better life...


On 27 september, ah ma was celebrating her 90s birthday so my family went over to ah ma house in the afternoon...Brother never attend cos he have to attend wedding dinner.i think while i reach my ah ma house my mouth is keep talking and talking non stop,the first i talk to is my ah ma,we chit chatted for awhile cos i have to look after mikkiel walking here and there he almost nearly broken a vase luckily hubby ran over and hold it and pull mikkiel to another side...his face is so happy cos got a big space to let him walk and also alot of things to touch too...forgot to mention i did ask my ah ma do u know who i am after a few sentence she replied u ah ping or ah ling..but when i tell her my name she remember my mother is who no matter ah ma cannot recognise who i am she alway stand a place in my heart and my ah gong too.At least happy that since after so many years, i think is my first time attending my ah ma's birthday normally i can only see my relatives and my ah ma first a year thatis chinese new year...i can see ah ma is so happy seeing so many people is celebrating her birthday cos i saw her smile while cutting the cake ( i actually wanna to take a picture of my ah ma and the birthday cake but due to some interuption i never cos went i go in and take thing come out they are starting to sing birthday song) than i also never take alot of photo but happy memories will sure keep in my heart and the nice chatting with cousin and nieces cos hard to see each other and maybe some occasion we managed to see each other but no matter what we enjoy ourselves and my ah ma 's birthday cake taste so nice i ate two slices and how can i not enjoy while chatting non stop and having a nice chocolate cake....last but not least i wanna to wish my ah ma happy birthday and she can live happy and healthy forever :)


On 24 september,i had know a new friend and at first we are chatting on msn and followed by phone and we can talk anything any topics especially is OUR MIL....Due to everyday waiting for our hubby to come back at least we can chat and time will goes faster and while looking after kids at home will not be boring and also some gossip...By the way i forget to mention her name is shiyin...still remember the first call while we listen to each other voice and i realise her voice sound so sweet and doesn't look like her age...at least while blogging and can know new friend how worth it...Later shiying is bringing her precious caen to my house and is our first time meeting each other and sarah & mikkiel will be meeting their friend too hope we will have a great time :)....

Oh my god is 5:41 am and i still awake is very awake i think i wake my hubby up and than i go to catch some sleep.....


my life is getting merrier and merrier cos why must i because of an OUTSIDER to make my life so down and make my parent who been with me for 26 years to worry about me and my children ,after some many thunder and storm this is what my thinking :everybody's life is in their own hand not someone else, when things happen just dun use the hand that u hold ur life to pin point on another....what come around goes around. i am trying to cherish everthing little things u had done but just rememeber in ur mind dun live ur life in regretfulness noone can give so many chances to changes and time goes people will also change nobody will be the same old self once when totally give up on u.....


*Hell and Heaven which place u want to go when u died is depend on urself is also the same to life is all depend on urself....of cos i want to be angel in heaven and not devil in the hell in life and whatever is the same it applies to everthing :)

i am happy to end my post with a smile :)have to go back to catch some sleep

Happy 9 month to my precious mikkiel

Precious is so happy




he is able to stand with support




sit on his owndidi protect his jiejie :)

mummy and mikkiel


papa and mikkiel


happy 9 monthsary to my precious mikkiel,enjoy the photo....:)

Post 69

mummy and baobei (very long time never take photo with sarah cos must depend on her mood too.)








IS me NOTHING TO DO so take photo lolsarah smile so happily cos is her lesson time...



mikkiel able to sit on his ownmikkiel is in love with monkey mask :)
mikkiel is watching "yoyo" channel while sarah is sleeping...

After 3 days of rest and the non stop chatting on and off with different friend throught msn or the phoneand the accompany by my sarah and mikkiel of course i get better...Now than i realised when having problem u must really find a person that can really understand the situation and maybe had been gone throught the same problem before if not sometime u can feel u even worst than before..But cannot blame anyone cos they are nice to listen to my problem no matter what i alright now can laugh and the same old me...

This few weeks i can see some improvement for my baobei,sarah and recently in the afternoon i am teaching her how to recognized the item that we need and use most of the time,she can speak after me but when i tell her to find the item from the book and show me she can remember immediately and show it to me and after a few days i test her again she can show me also that mean she can memorize well...I realised for children they can do it but just that they feel like doing anot is not that they don't know...Like sarah i alway tell my friends she still don't how to speak but when i start to teach her this few weeks i realize she know how to speak but whether she wants anot...About my precious mikkiel,he is doing great too,he can sit on his own and stand with support....he loves to watch the yoyo channel and the baby channel everyday...This two children of mine is making my days great too ...Enjoy the photo that i upload tml mikkiel is going to be 9 month and advanced wishing him a Happy 9 month and will bring the kids out tml... :)

Post 68

Actually i went to bed very early today and now is 1.23am...12am mikkiel wake up and he asking for milk and go make and feed him and while he finish his milk i am not able to go back to sleep...Switch on the living room light and sit in the sofa and stare blank in my living room...I still cannot get myself back,sometime i wonder whywhy i just want simple and happy life and why my life have to affect by this stupid JERK....WOW KAO today afternoon call wendy tell her my problem,the calls end half way (it always happen a few times this few days with different people)...My tears drop and than sarah went to take a few pieces of tissuses and pass it to me while i saw her my tears just drop like the tap is leaking automatically...She climb up to the chair and sit on my lap and she sit infront of me and give me a sweet smile...I ask her to go down and go play toy mummy want to think of something later will go join u and normally she will yawn and cry but today she never she go and play with her toy and i start to think how i going to get over all this rubbish...DO u know living in a house and scare one day my address will be appear in someway...UNTIL now i never saw any faces on my hubby family coming up to say anything izzn't is the way they doing things...Although i do not ACCEPT any apologies from THAT JERK but i never see anything from them accept my hubby is going out here and there (until this type of situation THAT JERK still can find way to make my hubby to have conflict with his parent )....WHO KNOW MY FEELING, do i never ever think to call the police and settle everything,who know THAT JERK used my address to go borrow how many loan shark i call the police while the ah long runner come and make trouble how many time can i call the police if i call THAT JERK will go in to the jail and we have to pay for his debt and WHERE we have so much money to pay...WHO is the one who is suffering.?THAT JERK HIS FAMILY OR MY FAMILY i will never make myself stress up because of this but i really need time to wash away this memories and is not one to two days things once i posted here about THAT JERK in my blog i have start worry till now and hubby say is areadi over and his parent will settle this debt and all the debt for THAT JERK but in my mind how can i believe THAT JERK word..EVEN if he end his life i will never attend his funeral cos all the problem created i dun care how he feel but he makes my every days of quarrel with my hubby,the nightmare,the lack of sleep and even more....I never ever hate a person so badly but him he the FIRST one...i regret to agreed with his mum that JERK is not a very bad person when the first time the parent come up to settle argument with hubby cos of that JERK i take back my words...THIS time round who help him to say whatever also no use i dun care is who i will never forget what THIS JERK do to us and dun say forgive him...


"i will be able to stand up but i just need more time...."
"i really need a change in my everything...."
"i should not be so anything to let some people take granted about me......"
"I am anything but doesn't mean i am NOTHING...."

"People will make mistake u must forgive and forgave" this sentence is for those who deserve to forgive not those who can harm is own family member...ESPECIALLY TO THIS JERK

Drug addict and Gambler is the same once u hook it is hard to quit
But if u willingly to changes i believe people will give u chances
But down the road it really hard to lives
cause this world is alot of temptation...
ONE SENTENCE OF ADVICE: Determine in lives might not be wrongs cause noone can decided how ur lives going to be,depend how u walk down the roadpath...

Taking drug or gamble is not a very big mistake BUT ACCEPT the punishement and Try not to go back to the path i know is very hard but when u want to go back to the lives u having think whether what u will lost dun cry with tears and u will never get back what u have when is lost...Regret will never was away by years it will stay with u until u die...

How ever i believe nobody life will be perfect,just make the life to the best to make it close to perfect...

When u want to make a mistake and say sorry try to think Can u kill a person and say sorry than u decide whether u want to do it...
Big or small mistake is still a mistake is up to a person whether to forgive u anot...

Do not push blame to people when things go wrong,life is yours up to u to choose...the life is in ur hand not other...

i am 26 years old , i cannot alway let people to affect my life and than i start to throw my temper to anyone i like and tell my problem to those friend who lend me my listening ear and i don't want to look like 40 and i am 26...Above the phrase is not copy from somewhere i think of myself....This is my 26 years i am living in this world what i had learn and gone throught and the people i met to let me have some inspiration to write so many but i don't know i write in correctly but i can understand can areadi...Selfishness is no wrong in life but too selfish will end up to be aloner but being too generous will let people take advantage just love myself more abit so i will not have some many complain and grumble and make myself so contradicting and than make those who care and concern about me to worry so in order i have to love myself abit more and not always think how to talk and dun let people get hurt cos i think this type of people is getting extinct cos why must i think of other and let people hurt me..i will never let anyone including u who see my blog to hurt me by anyway if u never think of my feeling i also can dun care ur feeling...

The last things to mention:

I wanted to thank to my family include my parent and my relatives and my friend who care and concern about me about this matter i really very grateful to u all...Those who lend their ear to listen to my problem and waste their phone bills...I am very thankful i have u all in my life...

Now is 3.09 am and i still here i take 1 hours plus to finish this post....i will not come back to post unless i have get back myself...

Post 67

Daddy is playing the monkey mouse with mikkiel
Tada my godsis,sarah and mikkiel



Enjoy the photo :)

Whenever i have any trouble there is alway someone who will worry,care and concern about me,i can say i am lucky and fortunate BUT feel sad to say always those who care and concern about me is those who long long time nvr contact or those who live very far just come down to talk to me....I really appreciate it...I admit i really to anything to everything let me today now think i have too much " FRIENDS" that alway have any problem and trouble will call me up and i will sure listen to their problem and if i can help i will willingly to help BUT what i had get back from those who so call FRIEND ...I really have to think about it i put my care and concern to some wrong person and i should go and care and concern those who really need it not those who have noone to find and feel bored than come and find me...

Today godsis came and find me after her interview and we go to boon lay shopping centre and buy some grocery and go back home...This is my godsis first time come my house but due to that jerk have done yesterday i really dun have a very gd mood but godsis keep toking to me and play with sarah and mikkiel...I feel bad that i never entertain her luckily she understand...She go back around 7 plus and come back my mood is still the same but now is getting a bit better will faster recover to the normal me orelse i really cannot do things well,my brain is keep thinking about what that jerk done???But is half settle left another debt i hope it will never happen this type of things again....Just wanna to write something out to make me feel abit better...But i still feel not ok i need some time to recover to the normal me........

Post 66

my residential phone + mio box
my residential phone

Yesterday night,i am very free thought of updating but i cannot go to my blog website there is so connection error so gave up and than playing game and chit chat with sharmaine...Ever since the mio box was install on monday i have been talking on and off with some friends...The reception is so good go everywhere of my house also can talk even outside the balcony...I should apply mio plan earlier so i can save more...heeheee

From sunday when i come back from my parent's house,i will go to bed before 1 am..i start to be tired and yawning around 11 plus and finish my everything went to the room before 12.30am...So happy that i start my habit of sleeping slight early than before cos i used to sleep quite late and cause my temper is slightly bad and get angry easily in the morning when i wake up...Not enough sleep and sleeping late is not very good for anyone not good for health and might affect what u do in next day...Hubby went to reservist since sunday, i spent 3 days with sarah and mikkiel without hubby luckily they are quite cooperative but sometime both of them also misbehave but is normal is alway happen everyday :) I am actually very happy when i come back from my parent's house but i still do have some worries but just dun keep like thinking anymore but who know TODAY (from morning till the evening i am still happy and enjoying with sarah and mikkiel although the weather is very hot is still not affect my mood and temper)...

Today evening,hubby book out from his camp for few hours came back and break a very bad news to me and while i listen i try to cool myself down cos i am helping sarah to bath and than after helping sarah to change her cloth..This is what i alway worries since i had mention this JERK in my blog....Yup indeed it happen...The loan shark come and paint the address in our lift so that mean that JERK never return the loan shark money...i am simply very very very hot when the time from second to minutes from that point of time i should have high blood pressure cos i am very angry and i think my blood vessel is going to burst take up my phone and call that JERK he answer hear my voice and he put down never mind so i sms him with alot of vulgarities inside i not that type who keep say vulgar word but i cannot stand anymore : the conversation of message goes like this: pls ignore the vulgarities in the message:


ME:Chao chee bye dare to listen dun dare to answer..i give u one more chance to listen my call or else i will go up ur house.

Jerk:My hp no money liaso...i nw on the way down to find them...Tonight i would settle with them

ME:Dun tell me rubbish ok u got think of my two kids anot u phua chee bye
JERK:Got la...I got return them...not i never pay them i go down and settle with them liao would let u all know


ME:U dun tell me rubbish with me u think i no brain the ah long go n write ur house u dun even tel ur bro and than why must u use ur bro name to borrow from wXXXX what human u are...u give me that ah long number i want to tok to him...
______________________never reply_____________________


ME:Do u ever think when u need help who never help u before,u treat us like that u are simply too much..just think of ur mum i simply feel sad and heartpain for her,do u ever think how she treat u,she so thrifty and than u got debt she help u to pay but than because of u i nearly divorce with ur bro and than when i tell ur mum about u borrow from ah long than she help u to pay than now still have so many debt and than that time i still let ur bro say i bog mouth...than u want to die u ever think of ur mum,she so old haven't enjoy still must use her saving to pay ur debt if u really think of her u should go earn money and repay her and pay the debt...dun make her worry about u...

JERK:I know i wrong liao...i already never gamble liao now i looking for money to clear all my debt and mum there..Hope u all can understand..I aready change liao..I got think of mum also with not i areadi go die...

___________________________finsh the message of conversation_________________


Hubby come back in the evening and i think he stay in the house for 30mins he go out again...the message i sent to that JERK when hubby went out with his dad see how to settle that JERK PROBLEM...when hubby come back he tell me THAT JERK go take a betting account to bet for soccer match and whatever and than lose and owned the loan shark $5000 and than of course he never pay than they come and paint la...who know the ah loan shark will do what next if he never return again...he still dare to go gamble and than is not very long debt is recently he gamble only and he still dare to sms me say he changed he think i simply no brain i also dun know why still tell him so many things hope he can wake up..i dun care anymore from now on i dun have this type of bro-in -law so as the children he dun fit to be my children uncle..i really dun care my hubby relatives will happen to see this post cos i dare to post i dare to let everybody see...i will never because of him to mislead myself not to trust people cos i dun think my surround family,relatives and friend will never have this type of people behave like this JERK...MR HONG JINGKAI..This jerk will never be forgiven anymore seriously i really feel very shameless and embarassed ....i alway saw this type of O$P$ in somewhere but i never expect will be my living place before my address was writing in a lift what will u feel and none of us go borrow any money from loan shark and we are very innocent especially the children i am not going to sit and not doing anything anymore i am going to settle with THAT JERK soon....i really never thought i staying at home as a housewife my life is so happening all thank to that jerk i really learn my lesson...i will never believe on HIM anymore...

Tomorrow will be a better day,what come around goes around......

tomorrow my god sis is coming to my house i gonna to go sleep early .. tml will be hubby last day of reservist and he gonna to work hard for this family from friday onward...finally i can go out to breath fresh air tomorrow :)Nitessssssss.

Post 65

was at my parent's house
they are so enjoying @ my parent's house





they are so loving....

kelly and mikkiel
mikkiel is so happy got to go out every night last 5 days

sarah & jaron @ amk hub

was on the way to seeing getai

my very first time standing for couple of minute watching and wait for the host 600 to come outafter standing 30 mins finally the host (600) come out, u can see so many people is watching....

Yesterday afternoon daddy fetch us back home,reach home settle the children and pack the things nicely that was brought back...Start my housechore and vaccumm the floor, mop the floor,wash here and there i finish my all my housechore at night and hubby look after. sarah and mikkiel while packing his things to go back to camp...In the night, he goes back to his camp and left 3 of us and will come back @ thursday...while sarah and mikkiel is sleeping i do my house work again...11 plus i finally finished my housechores and surf the net awhile than go to my dreamland cos i wake up early i am very exhausted...

the six day in my parent's house, sarah and mikkiel was having some much fun and go out every late evening to the nearby shop and sit under the void deck with my mummy,and her friends playing with them and enjoy the wind lol...This fews day the weather is so humid in the morning till evening but at night the wind just come so suddenly and dun need air con i can doze off to sleep easily as sarah and mikkiel they doze off more faster cos went they come back from outside they drink milk and clean them off they go to sleep...i also enjoy myself too cos some of my friends went up to my parent's house to find me and see the children and catch up things with them....heeeheee

Today the singtel installer come to install the mio box and install a phone socket and finally we have a residential phone... i can save more not to top up my hi card cos i always staying at home and chit chat using my hp once a month i have to top up once i think now i can save more and lesser top up...i am finding way to save some money from everywhere especially bills lol cos i think i rather spend the money to kids rather than to the bills cos our bills is so high compare to alot of friends lol and than we only living in a 3-room flat...finally finished upload some photo that taken on my parent's house got to go offline and play with the kids enjoy the photo...